All's Right With The World

Why is Christmas a big stress funnel? All the countdowns seem to point to a nexus of family anxiety, overspending, dread, and exhaustion. I have been growing my Scroogy sideburns for a month now. I was in danger of Bah Humbugging the whole deal and going to bed until January 11th. But, as usually happens to cute fuzzy haired girls like me, the clouds lifted and a ray of sunshine hit my graying temples just as I was about to go into my "Out Upon Merry Christmas!" speech.

First off, Sweetie only asked for one thing this year for Christmas. Or he rather found one thing on Ebay he really wanted and bid on it and won it, and said, that's my Christmas. And I was glad to know he got what he really wanted--except he didn't get it. For a month. I started thinking, if someone stole my Sweetie's present...the only present he asked for after working his hands down to stumps all year...well I hope whoever took it goes to bed under his electric blanket tonight and wets himself.

Second, today Sweetie went for a biopsy of his thyroid. Despite all the experts saying this is a formality and they don't really expect to find a problem but they are covering all the bases, you can't con a con. I work with insurance and I know you don't do biopsies for beer and skittles. We met with a surgical oncologist who put us at ease and did a very good preliminary exam. Results next week. Ho ho ho.

Third, work. Who doesn't complain about work, right? My job is tied into January 1st like it's D-Day. I can't say much more than that because who knows who reads these things and I would hate to celebrate by losing my position. Such as it is.

So, I got up this morning feeling robbed, worried, and overworked. I called in (they wouldn't approve my day off to go to Sweetie's appointment) and helped Sweetie put some Ebay items into boxes so I could ship them for him while he worked a half day. Later I dropped them off at UPS for less than we expected to pay. That was nice. Then I got a message from the dry cleaners that they had something there I'd left since July. How'd that slip my mind? But I got back my business suit which was another pretty good thing.

I came home and together with Sweetie we filled out all the papers from his doctor so we would be ready for his appointment. We drove straight there and got a parking spot by the door, had no waiting, and met with the doctor who was pleasant and patient. He made Sweetie feel a lot better, and I admit to more than just a little relief.

As we drove home, Sweetie was almost giggly even though his neck hurt from the needling he'd undergone. I told him now he would live forever like a vampire. He was grinning as he walked around to the back door. I checked the mail and turned to follow him down the drive when he came back around the corner of the fence yelling, it's here! It's here! They had delivered his Christmas present while we were gone. He got into the kitchen and started throwing foam and newspaper all over the floor as he looked for and located each part. I was trying to hand him aspirin and he was spread out on the floor looking at his new toy. I love that guy.

Not everything is worked out yet. There's still all the family dinners and presents to wrap and whatever else comes up between now and the happy new year. But one thing I know for certain. Sweetie and I are happy with our life. And in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse, I want to spend my holidays with him. The rest is gravy.

How To Proceed?

What do you do with forwards from people who think you share their slant on life, and continually send you items which you find offensive and hurtful? Especially when the person is an in-law? And if you are the guilty party, wouldn't you appreciate knowing not to forward stuff that you are bugging someone with?

I ask because I am probably guilty of this myself as I have sent a few things that I found funny. Funny is highly subjective, so I don't mind the response of hey, lay off. But. I am on the forward list--not general newsy emails about life or how are things with you emails, just forwards--of a newer family member. She is religious in her own way and I am not. What she forwards is generally insulting to someone who thinks we should live and let live. It borders on hate mail. I don't see it as religious at all, but rather inflammatory. I just delete it, and I never email her anything.

Well, I showed my husband tonight. He doesn't have a problem with flaming back. This may make the holidays more spicy than I care for. I don't like to take a stand. Delete and proceed is my habit. But at what point do you say something to a person? I guess if I had responded to the first email with a thanks but no thanks, this wouldn't be an issue. I don't care to preserve any friendship with this person but she is in the family, and it's the whole ripples in a pond thing. It's one reason I am glad we don't live within drop-in range of any relatives. Sweetie is right now working up a response to this email and I don't know what will happen next. In a way I am glad. I think the only thing worse than someone writing an email like that is the cut-and-paste hate forwards from people too ignorant to form their own opinions. Add in a few dewy eyed Precious Moments images and you have a real burner of a forward to send to all your unsuspecting "friends."

So. My question is, have any of you been on the receiving end of these forwards? What do you do? Can you tell a person to stuff it and still be on speaking terms? And if I've ever sent this junk to you, please let me know. Wouldn't want to offend.